Parents are gatekeepers over the the minds and hearts of their children. Children are gift to us from the Lord and we the stewards of their care and development into healthy adults who relate well to authority and their peers. What a joy to discover the gift our children are as we watch them grow. Let’s take a look at four keys that help us be the gatekeepers over our children’s lives.
The Mandate
And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.—Deuteronomy 6:5-7 NLT
We can see in God’s mandate to Israel two principles of effective parenting: 1) have a passion for the Lord that becomes a model for our children to follow, and 2) to instruct our children using two strategies that Cheryl and I found very effective—repition and spontaneity.
The Promise
God has given us promises that we can declare over our children! When we do our part God will do His part!
All your sons shall be taught of the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your sons. In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear, and from terror, for it shall not come near you.—Isaiah 54:13-14 MEV
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.—Proverbs 22:6 MEV
The proverbs of Solomon: A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother.—Proverbs 10:1 NLT
The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise. So give your father and mother joy! May she who gave you birth be happy.— Proverbs 23:24-25 NLT
The Manual
The book of Proverbs can be a great instruction manual for parents on how to instruct our children through their young seasons of life. We find ten admonitions in chapters 1 – 9. Take time to read these chapters and I believe you will find strategies to raise up your children to live for Jesus! I’ve compiled short references from each of these chapters to give you an idea as to how to instruct and admonish your children. I’m sure these will be familiar to you!
LISTEN TO YOUR PARENT
My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck.—Proverbs 1:8-9 NLT
GET WISDOM & UNDERSTANDING
My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the LORD, and you will gain knowledge of God.—Proverbs 2:1-5 NLT
DON’T FORGET
My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying.—Proverbs 3:1-2 NLT
ACCEPT DISCIPLINE
My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.—Proverbs 3:11-12 NLT
FOLLOW MY EXAMPLE
My children, listen when your father corrects you. Pay attention and learn good judgment, for I am giving you good guidance. Don’t turn away from my instructions. For I, too, was once my father’s son, tenderly loved as my mother’s only child.—Proverbs 4:1-3 NLT
STAY ON THE PATH
My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths.—Proverbs 4:10-11 NLT
WATCH YOUR TALK
My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.—Proverbs 4:20-23 NLT
KEEP YOURSELF PURE
My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel. Then you will show discernment, and your lips will express what you’ve learned. For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.—Proverbs 5:1-3 NLT
PROTECT YOUR HEART
My son, obey your father’s commands, and don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck. When you walk, their counsel will lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up, they will advise you. For their command is a lamp and their instruction a light; their corrective discipline is the way to life.—Proverbs 6:20-23 NLT
FOLLOW & OBEY
Follow my advice, my son; always treasure my commands. Obey my commands and live! Guard my instructions as you guard your own eyes… Let them protect you from an affair with an immoral woman, from listening to the flattery of a promiscuous woman.—Proverbs 7:1-2,5 NLT
The seasons
There are parenting seasons where we as parents need to learn to make shifts in our parenting style. There are 4 seasons that are frequently talked about you can find just by searching online. Cheryl and I have enjoyed walking through each of these seasons with our kids. Today we have a wonderful friendship with our adult kids! Here are the four seasons and their respective parenting approaches Cheryl and I have used…
⁃ INFANT/TODDLER: We provide lots of nurturing and control, this is a time of bonding.
⁃ PRE-PUBESCENT, ELEMENTARY YRS (4-12): We provide instruction, teaching the why and establishing a biblical worldview. We also provide a balance of nurture & correction, say 90% nurture and 10% correction.
⁃ TEEN YEARS: We provide coaching, guiding them through their decision making, and most importantly staying connected giving affirmation, and having ongoing conversations about the issues they face.
⁃ ADULTING YEARS: We provide support helping them launch into a successful future. We let them go, we don’t micromanage but we continue to pray for God’s best in their lives. This is our season right now and we feel so rich and satisfyed to have such a great friendship with our kids!
I hope this post gives you hope and confidence as you parent your children through the seasons of life and what you have to look forward to! God has entrusted you! He will also give you wisdom as you keep the Lord in the center of your family!
Finish Strong! 