God’s Word defines for us how to have a successful marriage. These are principles that Cheryl and I have followed over the past 40 years. Today we enjoy a vibrant and intimate relationship as a couple and a fun and enjoyable relationship with our adult children and grandchildren. Let’s look at God’s design and found in Ephesians 5:20-33 (NLT). We can clearly see God’s expectations for Husband and wife.
Mutual Submission with Christ at the center.
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
-First of all as believers in Jesus, husbands and wives are equal in the sight of God and should have an attitude of mutual submission
The wife’s spiritual role (reflection of the church)
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
⁃ A wife submits and follows the spiritual leadership of the husband, just like the church is to follow Christ commands.
The husband’s spiritual role (reflection of Christ)
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.
⁃ A husband’s love means sacrificial giving, putting her needs above yours, preferential treatment. – v 25
⁃ A husband’s love means washing her with words of nurture and affection like Christ does the church, wives are a reflection of their husbands just as the church is a reflection of Christ – v 26, 27
⁃ A husband’s love means providing care, nurture, meeting her emotional needs – v 28, 29
Unity and Intimacy
30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
⁃ God designed marriage from the begging to illustrate God’s plan of redemption, Christ and the Church. God wants our marriage to be a witness to our world.
Genesis 2:18,21-23 NLT – God’s original design
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” [21] So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. [22] Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. [23] “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.'” [25] Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.
⁃ Husband and wife are one entity in the sight of God—unity
⁃ Husband and wife should be completely transparent, nothing hidden from each other—honesty
⁃ Husband and wife are very different: the first thing Adam was assigned was work; the first thing Eve saw was a relationship. This explains one reason why men and woman relate differently.
Meeting each other’s primary need.
33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
⁃ A wife’s primary need in marriage is love, love is demonstrated in the husband’s sacrificial giving of himself to meet her emotional needs.
⁃ A husband’s primary need in marriage is respect, respect is demonstrated in the wife’s roll to follow, listen, support, and encourage her husband.
Foundation for a successful marriage.
Today marriage and sexuality is being redefined by our culture. Marriage works if we follow God’s design! You have a 100% chance of success in marriage if you put Jesus in the center of your marriage. If you allow Jesus to meet the core needs of your life you will be empowered to have a successful marriage. Jesus meets our core needs for acceptance, security, identity, and purpose. When these needs are met it empowers us to give ourselves to our spouse. We grow and mature into this by having 1) a devotional life of spending time in the Word of God and prayer and, 2) being a part of a church community where we find godly relationships and learn the value in serving others.
Finish Strong! 